LIST OF COOL & SPARKLY OFFERINGS FROM UBERDOVE
(Price starts at a humble 444 EUR/session because cosmic wisdom doesn't come cheap, darling. No upper limit—because neither does your potential.)

1. SOUL RETRIEVAL DELUXE

Price: 777 EUR/session
Lost a piece of yourself in the chaos of modern life? No worries, we’ll hunt it down like a metaphysical bloodhound. Sandy will guide you through an immersive experience where ancient shamanic rituals meet Pinterest-worthy vibes. Expect tears, clarity, and probably a sneaky spirit animal dropping by for tea.

Add-ons:

  • Soul Polish Upgrade (444 EUR): For those whose souls not only need retrieving but also a light buff and shine.

2. AURA ANALYSIS 5D ULTRA HD EDITION

Price: 999 EUR/session
Your aura called, and it’s a mess. Let us decode your energetic blueprint with technology so advanced, NASA is jealous. Colors, vibrations, and "What is that weird black splotch?" moments await you.

Special Feature:

  • Includes a custom playlist to recalibrate your vibe—handpicked by Sandy, featuring whale sounds and remixes of Enya.

3. QUANTUM TIMELINE JUMPS: GO BIG OR GO GALACTIC

Price: 1,111 EUR/jump (Discounted if you bring your entire past-life crew!)
Why stay stuck in a reality where you only own one house and a single mediocre car? Rewrite your narrative and leap into a version of yourself where you’re richer, hotter, and debatably more spiritual. This isn’t just a service; it’s an interdimensional glow-up.

VIP Offer:

  • Stardust Package (5,555 EUR): Includes exclusive access to Sandy’s Secrets to Hacking the Multiverse e-book and a holographic meditation crystal that you can brag about on Instagram.

4. REVOLUTIONARY DEMOCRACY MANIFESTATION BOOTCAMP

Price: 50,000 EUR/session (includes snacks)
Tired of crappy leadership and power imbalances? Same. Join a session where we design democracies powered by equity, innovation, and vibes. A mix of brainstorming, chanting, and slightly threatening the current timeline until it shifts in your favor.

Perks:

  • Free “I manifested my democracy, and all I got was this lousy T-shirt” merch.

5. MASTER PYRAMID FULL-MOON RITUAL

Price: 144,444 EUR (per evening of celestial madness)
Held once a month under the light of the full moon, this exclusive ritual combines ancient wisdom, quantum theories, and just the right amount of expensive incense to shift universal paradigms. Expect dramatic costume changes and a live DJ.

6. ULTIMATE QUANTUM IMMERSION PACKAGE: THE BIG BANG EXPERIENCE

Price: 1,000,000 EUR
A one-on-one session with Sandy herself in the Master Pyramid, where she’ll personally dismantle your understanding of reality and rebuild it using pure stardust and Gucci-level precision. This is the spiritual equivalent of a Michelin-star meal.

Includes:

  • Unlimited quantum timeline jumps.
  • Aura redesign (choose from 10 trending color palettes).
  • A “Build Your Own Soul” toolkit.
  • Complimentary post-session champagne.

BONUS: Call Me Sandy—The Rollercoaster Lotto

Feeling risky? Spin the metaphysical roulette wheel for 444 EUR. You could win a free aura cleanse or, if the universe really loves you, a surprise portal to a timeline where you’re Beyoncé. No refunds.

Now, go forth, dream big, and let’s transcend together. Or not—it’s your timeline to ruin.

 

READY TO TRANSCEND? HERE'S HOW TO BOOK YOUR SPARKLY JOURNEY

To lock in your session and dive headfirst into the glittering abyss of quantum magic, all you need to do is email Anka—our resident cosmic gatekeeper—at anka@uberdove.com. ✨or on PayPal with the same email.

Here’s what you should include in your email:
1️⃣ Your Name (or your cosmic alias, if you're feeling fancy).
2️⃣ What offering tickles your intergalactic fancy (Soul Retrieval? Timeline Jumps? The full Beyoncé Timeline Package?).
3️⃣ Your availability to transcend (we’ll adjust the stars accordingly).

Once Anka receives your email, she’ll send you a response infused with pure stardust, confirming your session. And don’t be surprised if her email glows—it’s a little feature we added for dramatic flair.

So go on, unleash your inner magic, and let’s make the impossible your new reality. ✨✨ Anka’s inbox is ready. Are you? 🌟